Joy… I choose Joy!
I’ve had it all wrong, and I’ve been going about it in the wrong way. Not that I’m judging myself for my path etc…Let me elaborate.
So the two areas of my life that I really want to see transform are the areas of money/abundance and romantic relationships. There have been a lot of struggle and suffering around those two areas for me.
Many highs and lows, unexplainable circumstances that caused pain, struggle and continue to do so.
So I set about “Fixing” myself so I could fix those areas.
I was running around trying everything I knew to do to ‘fix’ what was wrong with me. I mean there had to be something wrong because why were so many other people successful in these two areas and why was I not?
I was obsessed with learning and growth so that I could transcend the pain & struggle those two areas were causing in my life. I was fixated on changing them, making them go away. On making me perfect! Because I always thought I had to be perfect. The harder I tried the worse things got and the worse I felt.
I am proud of myself for the growth that I’ve done, I acknowledge myself in putting in the work to make a change in those areas of my life, but I missed the biggest piece all these years.
The one thing that makes all the difference and I’m finally realizing what that is.
We are vibrational beings and our vibration emits a frequency that attracts, reflects, and emphasizes the experiences of our lives. Our vibration begins in thought, but our reality is manifested from FEELING. It’s all about the feeling state.
But I had adopted feeling states of struggle, hardship, rejection, judgment, lack, anger, fear, shame, grief, worry, validation, resistance, insecurity, and the list goes on. I had seen myself as less than, always needing to strive to defend myself, prove myself, and validate myself. I worked to try and please every one around me, to appear perfect and like I had it all together. I built massive walls around my heart and wouldn’t let any love in or out. It was my protection. Just don’t see me please, my fragile ego couldn’t handle it.
Every behavior and choice came from those vibrations.
So here I was working so hard to get “This thing” that I thought was outside of me, so that I would be seen as whole and so that I would feel whole. I saw all this as separate from me, when in fact what I needed to do was choose a different feeling despite what my external world was reflecting.
I think that has to be one of the hardest things to get our heads around. Feel abundance when you have a hard time paying your bills. Feel loved when you haven’t had a relationship in years.
But in order to change the external world, you have to feel it internally first.
A quick story…
A friend of mine and I were talking about relationships. And she’s been on dating sites and gone on numerous dates. I remember her saying all these guys are non committed, they aren’t serious, they are holding back, I can’t trust their intentions etc. And she was attracting one right after the other, same guy different body.
So it’s funny when you’re outer world is reflecting such a strong reality it’s hard to break it because the reality is so believable.
But I remember in our conversations about it she was contradictory around her level of commitment, fears and she was holding back from really being authentic and vulnerable.
She began to do the inner work of aligning her internal world with what she really wants. She began to let go of the fear and really step into vulnerability and opening her heart. She let go of her defenses. She began to tune into the higher vibrations of wholeness, acceptance, optimism, love, excitement, ease, joy and bliss.
Within only about 2 weeks she has attracted in a guy that’s the complete opposite of what she was attracting before. She’s like he wants to share his life with me, and let me know what’s going on and include me. She’s getting what she asked God for and so much more! But SHE had to change first, line up with what she was asking for before he showed up!
So I’ve begun to be mindful of what feels good and satisfying?
What is the path of least resistance? The REAL path, not the path of lazy because we don’t want to do anything. It’s about remembering our BEingness. It is about being it, that which we desire.
And it’s about aligning with our desires and then taking action. When we take action from that place there is effortless flow, where things magically fall into place.
But you can’t experience that aligned magical flow when you are in the lower vibrational resistance states. Flow doesn’t happen, resistance happens, then frustration and the whole downward spiral continues.
It’s about every day waking up in gratitude and joy. Those are emotion states and feelings we get to choose. We get to see the world from a different lens. We get to give love and in turn receive it. We get to see that world as abundant. We get to live as whole beings in this marvelous world.
The work is in tuning our vibration and then feeling it authentically.
Yes life creates contrast so that we know what we do want and what we do not want. For that I’m grateful. But the contrast isn’t meant to keep us stuck in low vibrational energies.
It’s our choice to wake up every day and decide what vibration we are going to tune our frequency to and go there.
So today I choose Joy…and I’ll continue to chose joy and tune my frequency to that.