On finding true lasting love…

Love… Believe…Faith…

 

Love… this seemingly elusive thing.

 

I don’t often write about love or my desire for relationship. For one it’s an extremely vulnerable topic for me, & secondly, I know there’s no lack of interested men in me, but it’s really about the right match for me.

But on with my post about Love…

I was having a coaching session yesterday with Kristin, my coach and Kristin brought up an important point to me.

These were her exact words: “You are looking for a specific type of man. This takes time because he is looking for a specific type of woman. One who accepts him as he is and who cares for him as a wife should. The man you will love has morals and is powerful. There seems to be a fantasy around this man. Almost as if you don’t necessarily believe he exists.”

What!!! Belief in his existence! Wow, that hit me really hard because I’ve been “trying” to have faith around this, and often times what I find with me is that I slip into control. Control meaning I’m so afraid because of past experiences with men that I want to control my next outcome.

Well, faith takes courage and control is not faith, therefore, it’s not courageous. It’s cowardice to have to control every aspect. Control doesn’t allow for surrender, surrender to the Divine guidance and direction of life. Control also takes me completely out of feminine radiance, my true authentic self, and puts on a mask that serves no one.

And ladies when you wear inauthentic masks and you are out of your feminine energy then it is impossible to accept your man as he is because you do not accept you as you are. And a masculine man desires acceptance, a women who has his back no matter what.

It’s funny because when I write in my journal, after meditation, I will write from a perspective as if God himself is speaking and I’m just writing the message from Him.

I just Love God so much and I’m loving seeing this relationship blossom. Anyway, so I write from that place and a couple of times when I’ve been in prayer about love & relationships a message has come through. March 14th of this year I had a message come through about this & I often refer back to it. So God said to me “I have exactly what you have asked for, you’ll be well matched in looks, intellect, passion, drive, money, and love. He’s waiting for you ready to love you and give you forehead kisses, he’s ready to be your king”

So the promise is there. It’s very clear, but sometimes stepping from fear and control to belief and surrender seems like a huge leap. I have these promises and even now when I think about love this fear comes up a bit. Wow!

Yet I see God at work in other areas of my life. Areas where there isn’t attachment to an outcome. I’m getting ready to move…Finally, after 8 months of being so unsettled…and every single detail of this move has come together 100% effortlessly & perfectly. I literally could not have planned the perfect circumstances that have come together to make this move possible. I see the hand of God all over it. And because of that, I’m super excited. I know, I have such an assurance that this is perfectly right for me because of all of the signs, synchronicities, and circumstances that have come together for this to be possible.

So in this area of love and romance, there is this energy of fear that my Him doesn’t exist. So what is this about for me? When I ask my higher self the answer that comes through is…It’s about attachment. Attachment to an outcome, a specific outcome. When we have an attachment to outcomes we have fear, and then we have control.

Letting go of attachment is truly surrendering to my ways, how I want things to look, how I think they should go, how I feel things should unfold and in my timing. Letting go, having the faith and courage to completely let go and just saying to God “You do it, this is yours to work out, and I will no longer pick up the reins of this process because it’s not mine to control” It’s just my opportunity to have complete faith, and have complete faith in the process.

Kristin my coach said to go on Match and date with no attachment to an outcome. She was like it doesn’t mean you’ll meet your him that way, but it opens your energy to receive and puts you in a place of abundance so that your Him can find you and come in.

Dating creeps me out!!! I have never liked the process, I’m not sure why I just don’t. But I guess it’s part of the process isn’t it, so I need to change my outlook on it and make it fun.

But I think what faith and surrender ultimately boil down to when it comes to relationships and calling in the perfect partner for you begins with loving your self and knowing that you or I am worthy of the exact thing we’ve asked for. What I have asked for would not have been given to me in thought if he did not exist. So he exists, now it’s just lining up with the worthiness of self to know that I deserve what I have asked for and that he does in fact exist.

Knowing that I am complete and enough as a sole entity. Then being open and unattached to the unfolding of what is to come.

As I’ve done the self-love work, one of the most profound things I’ve heard when it comes to self-love and relationships was spoken by Preetha Ji of One World Academy.

Her words…”Love begins with one’s self. The day you make a decision not to suffer anymore, the day you take a step to come out of your inner conflict, that is the beginning of love for yourself. And when you love yourself that way you can love another. How can you give fully to a relationship with another if you’re disappointed or dissatisfied with yourself? As long as there is resistance to who I am there cannot be love. As long as the mind is fighting reality, as long as there is resistance to the truth there cannot be love. When you stop worrying with your thoughts and emotions, you will end the war with in you. You are not comparing yourself with the image projected by religion, society or books. You are at peace with the entirety of yourself you are compassionate for yourself. That love manifests as love for another. When you are at ease with yourself you experience the love of the other too. Loving oneself begins with the acceptance of the truth about yourself. Which includes your body, your capacities, your weaknesses, your achievements and your failures your thoughts and your feelings. Loving yourself means loving your past”

Hmm, so relationships are not about two perfect people coming together. It’s about two imperfect people finding love for themselves so they may love another despite the imperfections. Relationships are meant to grow us and to magnify human emotion.

So the bottom line, the point, learn to unconditionally love yourself, let go of any attachment or need to control an outcome, have faith in your process and be the most awesome happy, blissful, joyful version of yourself. When you do the forces that Be, that are greater than you will line you up so perfectly with your match there will be no mistaking it! You will know. Go as far as your eye can see and more will be revealed to you. It doesn’t unfold overnight, it’s a process. Enjoy it.

And so it is…

Love you guys!

Xo
Jenn

 

Comments

  1. Jenn,

    Firstly, thank you for having the courage to share your thoughts and learnings with the world. You are on a path of growth and personal development that has taken you through Tony Robbins events as I hear a lot of what he presents at his concerts. Robbins has taken a lot of his presentations from Alison Armstrong, Debra Tennenbaum, John Gray and Jim Rohn (to name just a few). All of these authors and teachers are amazing in their own right.
    Secondly, thank you for being so raw with your presentation to elevate to the higher vibration of acceptance. Acceptance precedes LOVE. To find that elusive state of acceptance, one has to look inwards. Looking inwards can be so scary for most people which is why most people create beliefs that keep the world at a distance. Let me explain: Imagine a man who had a bad experience with a woman and he has had his heart broken. Now that man creates the belief that “all women are just looking for a rich man to take care of them.” This belief keeps him safe from having to look at himself. The chances are that this man has not taken a long look at who he is and, perhaps, who he isn’t. In keeping his focus on the external, he keeps himself stuck. In avoidance of his truths, he fails to gain a true perspective on his gifts and his uglies, and therefore he is miles away from truly accepting himself as a man. Can he make money? Yes! Can he look amazing by going to the gym and eating right? Yes! Can he DO things that make him look good on paper? Yes! Will these things move him closer to acceptance of himself? No!
    When I was in the dating world, what allowed me to “see” the woman who was sitting in front of me was the fact that I had come to terms with myself as a man. It was only when I was at peace with myself, acknowledged myself and accepted myself that I could step outside to see and feel the person that was sitting across the table from me on my dating adventures.
    It may be cliche, however, to find true love, we must find acceptance and love with ourselves first. That which we do not accept within ourselves will not only persist; it will grow like a weed. As the Swiss psychologist, Carl Jung is noted for saying “What we resist…. persists”.
    When I met my wife, I met a woman who was in a place of acceptance and love for herself. She had such a sense of calm around her.
    Her calmness was, strength, her peace was safe, her not needing me but wanting me was …refreshing. Her acceptance of herself was intoxicating.

    To find a man with a higher vibration who is a place of acceptance and love with himself is not hard to do as there are many good men in this world of 8 billion people. It will happen when a woman is in the same place of acceptance and love for herself.

    Respectfully,

    Mark.

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